A couple days ago I’m lying on my couch watching as Netflix and Charter Digital mangle the delivery of TED Talks: Space Trek on the AppleTV. Fascinating stuff, if I can keep from flying into a rage as the video starts and stops every few minutes. It’s 11:30 pm as Phil Plait talks about the inevitability of a meteor strike wiping out all life on earth and what we can do to prevent it, when my dog suddenly lets out an earsplitting bark and jumps up on the comfy leather chair. The fur on the back of his neck is raised and he looks like he’s about to tear something to shreds. He’s never been a very good guard dog and rarely barks when he’s in the house, so I paused the TV. Outside my closed blinds I hear someone yelling. It’s unintelligible and rather insane sounding. BAM! The sound of a screen door slamming. Neighborhood dogs are in a tizzy. I turn off the lights and crack open one of the blinds. Across the street a man in his late twenties, short cropped air with a beard is pounding on my neighbor’s door. Their porch light is on and an SUV is parked in the driveway. The house is dark though. The man slams the screen door again and runs around to the back of the house. The motion sensor lights back there turn on and I can hear the guy shouting over the incessantly barking dogs. He comes shambling out from the bushes and is in the street. He’s spinning around in circles and stumbling around. More grunts and shouts as he’s heading my way. I quickly run scenarios in my head. Grab shotgun as he comes into my yard and act all Republican and stand-my-ground…but i have no shells! Or, let the dog loose on him…Fargo would probably just lick him to death. So, instead I google search the Reno Police non-emergency number. Probably coulda gotten away with 911, but really, no one was being hurt and the guy wasn’t armed. The lady on the phone asks for a description and whether or not I’ll be able to talk to police later. Sure, why not.
Five minutes later, two cop cars fly down my street. A third one shoots along the street at the end of the block by the middle school. That was fast. For the next twenty minutes they drive up and down the streets at a crawl with the search lights covering every nook and cranny. The dogs have settled down at this point. I no longer hear the man ranting in the distance. I never hear from the cops. I have no idea the guy was caught. I have no idea if he was on drugs, or drunk, or on anti-freeze. Turns out drunks will drink antifreeze if they can’t get liquor. Learned this from a guy at work who had a similar situation play out in his hood a while back. It’s bad news and causes erratic behavior. So, kids, stay off the Prestone!