Killing Me!

What the hell does it take to shake this old man couch potato thing I got goin’ on? Hiking and running and stretching and sit-ups and not eating too much shit doesn’t seem to be working. This whole health and fitness shit is such a bore. If it wasn’t for being able to blog and walk on this trail I would’ve given up, gone home, and dived into a pint of Chocolate and Peanut Butter ice cream.

Had to get a new shirt today, the Big Pig Studio shirt was starting to smell like a high school gym locker.

Speaking of which, yesterday on my hike, I was about to start my second lap around the trail, even though my migraine lightning show was obscuring the trail and the pain in my lower back was trying to cripple me. I’m doing my best to forge ahead when, as if the universe were mocking me, 8 beautifully fit Hispanic soccer dudes bolted past me. One right after the other. I’m practically doubled up in misery and these guys are sprinting past me going UP HILL. Seriously, just kill me now.

One thing I like about this trail is that it’s not some bizzaro vanity trail for fitness Nazis to show off. It’s too hot, unpleasant, and nor enough traffic out here for that. The people up here are shirtless fat guys, older women, a few kids, people walking dogs, occasional mountain biker, etc.

And it’s quiet.

I think I should clarify my message here. I’m not depressed or miserable to the point I can’t carry on anymore. I’ve been enjoying my glacially slow progress to a better me. It’s just boring and I’m part of the immediate gratification generation. I’m here, get me there. Right now! Now I said!

As for eating healthy food…I’m not willing to sacrifice flavor and enjoyment just to lose a few pounds. I like the eating part of my day. I’ll suffer on the mountain regularly so I can eat all the cheeseburgers and coq au vin that I want, damnit.


About heartajack

I'm a graphic designer and occasional filmmaker that recently discovered the awesomeness that is the Can-Am Spyder Roadster. In recent years I've become obsessed with food and learning how to prepare it. I make the best damn ribs...EVER.
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5 Responses to Killing Me!

  1. Coral says:


    Hang in there! I can work out with you and I know some tips to lose weight and stay healthy!!


  2. Doof says:

    Goddamn old potato couch-man! DAMN that old couch! Damn comfy couch and it’s rotten potato!!!! DON’T GET POTATO ROT ON THE GODDAMN COUCH.

  3. Eddy says:

    On a positive note, at least you’re trying. I’m just adding reinforcement to my couch to spread the load out. Don’t give up, Sir…perhaps I’ll enlist you on an up coming firewood gathering trip….a little loggin’ will do you good.

  4. BIt says:

    Keep up the good work. Altho it’s hard, it’s a start and will get easier.
    Love you,

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