Woke up this morning to a text from a friend of mine in Chicago that read:
“So far this morning, I’ve managed to slip on 1 of Aspens toys, ripped half my big toe nail off in the process, bled all over the place. Possible sprain. Hi Monday. Fuck.”
Christ on a crutch that’s a shitty way to start a day. I know my day is going to be worse since I have to go to the DMV to renew my Spyder’s registration. Besides the $280 I have to fork out, there’s the 3 hours of mingling with Reno’s finer citizenry.
I was running late this morning so I made up my mind to go to the DMV on my lunch break. Bummer way to spend lunch, but it had to be done. It starts off, like every time I go there, with a mob of old people and degenerate teen gang bangers clogging up the parking lot with their ignorance and their sense of entitlement. I don’t care that you’re old and can’t walk and you have to make a show of yourself to the brainless kid that wouldn’t give you the right if way, just get the fuck out of MY way, I’m in a hurry.
Anyway, I grab a spot in the motorcycle parking area which is conveniently located right in front of the entrance. I have my papers and bust through those doors…my heart sinks. To the right there’s hundreds of people sitting around waiting for their numbers to be called and to the left is the queue from hell that leads to the government worker that hands out the numbers. Good god it’s worse than I could’ve imagined. I get in line and I can feel my blood starting boil. Nothing I hate more than waiting in lines. I should’ve done this online, but my renewal notice says I need proof of insurance, so here I am.
Twenty minutes in, I’ve moved 6 feet. I look over to my left and see a security guard helping some guy. They’re in front of a big blue kiosk that looks like an ATM machine. It’s a fucking self serve license renewal machine hidden away in a dark corner. I’ll be damned. I jump out of this nightmare of a line and hop onto the next available machine.
First you scan the barcode on your renewal notice, it tells you how much to pay, you swipe your debit card, and it spits out a receipt and your new sticker. Done! It took less than 5 minutes!!!! When the hell did they install these fabulous machines?
Needless to say, my DMV visit was less painful than tearing off a toenail! Thank you job stealing machinery!